I just went for a run and took a shower and cut my hair and now I’m changing my nail shape and it’s a big deal for me like who am I now?
You know, this is the first time I feel the need to speak out about my rights and treatment as a woman. I’ve been through so much and reminders of my past lately, I am just in disbelief of what I’ve gone through.
I’ve always been that “It won’t happen to me” kind of girl. And even when things DO happen to me, I just tell myself that it’s normal and not the bad stuff other women have had to deal with. I still tone down all my experiences and make excuses as if they aren’t a big deal… but news to me, they are a big deal.
So to have a brief beginning summary: I have been a victim of pedophiles, rapists, sexual assault, objectification, and peer pressures from both men and women.
As for my pedophilia experience, I have 4 that I can easily recall or have been told about by my mother.
How is it fair that a child has to go through that FOUR times. Even once is too many. Why do people think they have the right to do that to an innocent child? But still, I grew up fairly normally. But still, harassment continued.
When I was 15, I had a boyfriend for about a month. He was a cocky, overweight football player who was involved in the church, and acted like he was God’s gift to me. I specifically remember him telling me that dating him would boost my reputation at school. You know what dating him really turned into? Him raping me in a music practice room at school. But I’ve made excuses up until now. And I still cannot tell my parents. I’ve always blamed myself for never outwardly saying “No.” But I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him. But it wasn’t real rape, right? He only took my pants off and stuck his dick in me for less than a minute…. NO. I am no longer making an excuse. He had no right. He violated me. And continued on his persona of innocent church boy. This is why despite still having faith I no longer go to church, because I cannot trust anyone there.
In the past two weeks, my friend’s friend kept messaging me on facebook, sending me pictures of his body, and asking when we were having sex and if he could fuck me in the morning, all afternoon, etc. I told him no, yet he kept making advances. I spent the next two days crying at feeling like such trash and nothing more than a nice ass. Then the same friend’s other friend decided this weekend that it was okay to force me into a threesome while I was drunk (all the people there earlier have discussed me multiple times at their workplace how I am the “hot friend” as if it’s okay to just talk about that without half of them even knowing me to begin with)… My friend entirely supported this happening. I can’t sit here and blame this on alcohol. If I don’t say blatantly agree to something, DO NOT DO IT. I am obviously not continuing this friendship. And I am obviously not sitting back any longer.
I like to wear makeup, jewelry, nice clothes, and do my hair. I also work out often and take care of my body. This does not mean I am willing to be your trophy, told I am a hot piece of ass, or that I am an easy girl looking for a man to please me.
I am a dean’s list and president’s list student. I like to watch documentaries, read, meditate, and cook. I have a quick wit and a love of sarcasm. I have a sassy attitude. I love cats. I want to have my own bakery. I want to travel. I want to do yoga on mountaintops. I have dreams and a personality, people. Who cares that I like to look good. Do I do it for you? Hell no. It’s for me. If you want to admire something, maybe admire the fact that I am a great person with a fabulous personality.
I am a stubborn, strong willed, and ambitious female. Show some goddamn respect to me.
I will not tolerate this treatment any longer, and neither should any other female on this planet.
- - made your self throw up
- - starved
- - took a razor to your skin
- - felt like your not good enough
- - thought about suicide
- - attempted suicide
- - burnt your self
- - got bullied
- - been called ugly/fat etc..
- - or harmed your self in any way
- - cried your self to sleep
- - been abused
I will message every fucking single one of you.
Every single one
same ^ </3